How Many Times Have you Given Up?

Above any endeavor in my life, writing is the one that has been plagued with the most self-doubt.  Except for maybe parenthood.  But once you have a child there is no going back so that makes your choice simple.  That is not the case with a writing career.  You are free to quit as many times as you want. 

As a result, I have given up being a writer more times than I care to admit.  Four at least.  I have stopped in the middle of both books I have written.  I gave up for almost a year after Lily in Bloom went out of print.

A bad edit made the roll out of Lily in Bloom a disaster.  Fraught with typos I wanted to hide under a rock.  All of my mistakes were out there for the word to see.

After I got over the initial shock, I stopped writing for a while.  It was too risky and just too painful.

That is the difficult part of being a writer.  With any other job, I can go to a party and announce that I am doing really well at work and people will believe me.  With writing your work is out there for everyone to judge.  It is difficult but, I have to admit, motivating.

With the reprint of Lily in Bloom, I could have republished it as it is, minis the typos.  I didn’t do that.  I signed on an editor, Maggie Dallen.  She has been pushing me, challenging me to make it the best book it can be. We have never even met but I love her for it.

And maybe that is the key.  The things that are the hardest in life can be the most rewarding.  That has certainly been true for parenthood.  I won’t know for sure until Lily in Bloom hits the shelves again if I am to succeed or fail.

The book may still be no good, but it is the best I can do and I am going to try and be satisfied with that.  With a major re-edit I can honestly say that I came at my first book and gave it everything I had.

Wish me luck.  I feel like I am going to need it!