Who are the Flower Thieves?

Here in New England, we are in full bloom.  Temperatures are souring, flowers are blooming, and mosquitos are biting.  So when I saw a few pots of beautiful petunias on sale at the local hardware store, I snagged them for the front porch. 

I quickly loaded them into the back of the minivan and then headed for the grocery store.  Feeling elated with my bargain flowers, my high continued when I got a parking spot right in the front of the store.  I pulled in and parked.  Then jumped out to retrieve my reusable bags from the back of the car.

A lovely 65 year old woman was walking by.  She was smartly dressed with perfectly curled silver hair.  She eyed my flowers and smiled.  I smiled back.  I was anticipating her asking me where I got them.  I had my answer all ready when she surprised me with what she said.

“You better lock your car, you don’t want anyone to steal those flowers.”  Wait… What…. My mouth hung open at her words.  Flower thieves?  Who are these mysterious people?

A few theories jumped to mind.  Other 65 year old women who are competing with their neighbors for the prettiest garden.  Having run up exorbitant flower bills, their husbands have cut them off.  They are now stealing flowers from minivans, to keep their flower habit up.

Or is it the 16 year old trouble maker that loves his mother.  Wanting to give her a gift for all the trouble he has caused, he peers into minivans and sedans until he finds the perfect gift.

Maybe it is a recent divorcee who, after years of marriage and kids, is looking for a little trill.  Nothing too serious, of course, but she sees my flowers and thinks, I’m just going to take them.  I’m due a little fun!

None of these theories seem quite right so now I am asking you.  Who are the flower thieves?  Please comment below if you have a theory on these illustrious thieves with beautiful gardens.  I am curious to know so that the next time I load bargain flowers into the back of my car, I will know who to look out for!